Christmas Tree

I’ve been going to a life coach since October and, the few session we’ve had, has opened my eyes up to several things I’ve been doing that is negatively impacting my life. One thing that has come out is I’m holding on to my past and not allowing myself to let it go…..I haven’t forgiven myself for my big mistakes in life. In some strange way I have felt that if I continue to beat myself up over my decision to marry/stay with the EX I would never make that mistake again. The fact is, since I haven’t allowed myself to forgive myself for that mistake I also haven’t allowed myself to heal and live my life the way I should. 

My progress is coming in small steps. One of those steps happened over this Thanksgiving break.

In the past, I had the tradition of getting the girls up early to help put up the xmas tree. While we were getting the xmas stuff out I would put on It’s a Wonderful Life and we would watch that over and over again until the tree was up. It was fun to watch the girls put up the tree and decorate it. We would all laugh and have a good time.

Because it was one of the happier moments I had during the marriage I was holding on to it hoping to feel that way again. But the opposite happened, each year it became more and more difficult to put up the tree. There was one year I didn’t even bother putting it up. Every time I put up the tree and watched It’s a Wonderful Life I would always think of the girls, which hurt. 

Well this year, I changed things. I got out all my xmas tree stuff and since there was nothing on TV I jumped onto Netflix and started to watch all those sappy, girly ABC Christmas Family movies. For the first time, putting up the Christmas tree was enjoyable and made me smile. 

I had that thing lit all last night until I went to bed. It’s going to be an awesome Christmas this year!

Love Goodwill

I've been itching to go shopping but didn't want to spend a couple hundred dollars on clothes. Even going to Marshell and TJ Maxx can add up quickly. There is a new Goodwill that opened up just a mile or so down the road from me and a couple of friend told me about some of their recent purchases.

So today, I took the time to look at what they have. The best way to shop at Goodwill is to keep an opened mind and don't go in expecting to find anything specific. I looked around for about an hour and half and anything that looked almost new or was new (yes, tags still attached) I grabbed and tried on.

I ended up with about 40 shirts/sweaters to try on. When I have that many items I break it down into two steps. First step is the 5 second try on. I put the shirt on and without looking at myself in the mirror I decide if the shirt feels good. If not I toss it and if it feels good it makes it into the second round.

The second round is whether or not it looks good on me. If it looks good it's a keeper and if not I toss it. There is a third round, only if I have to many items left. I thin go through my pile of clothes and divide them up to "love" and "nice to have". I keep all the "love" and discard all the "nice to have".

In this shopping trip I purchased 9 tops and only spend $35. If I would have went anywhere else that would have been one or maybe two tops. Here is a picture of all my new tops. If you look close enough you will see the purple shirt in the center still has a tag on it. 

And all this before Black Friday!!!!

Decorating

I've been struggling with how to decorate my bedroom. Currently it's bland and boring. The walls are painted but there is nothing hanging on them. My furniture consists of a mattress and box springs, two 60's style night stands that  have been spray painted and a dress that I've had since I've been a kid and it was poorly painted several years ago. Then to add to all that awfulness I have a dog kennel next to my bed.

My room has no style and I'm sad to say that is the one room I don't enjoy going into. Anyway, I've tried to dress it up with a new bedspread and some decorative pillows. I did install curtains recently to as some softness to the room. But it's still sad looking.

The other day I was discussing my issue with my bedroom to someone and they pulled up some idea's from pintrest. One of the idea's have been swimming around in my head and on Sunday I decided to go to the fabric store and work on my idea.

All it is, is three picture frames with color fabric inside. It was a simple idea and I ran with it. After an hour of cutting and taping here is the end result.

 This was a really inexpensive way to add color and art work to my room. The fabric was 30% off and the picture frames are recycled from retired artwork I used to have hanging. Love it when an idea comes together!

Memory Foam Matress

I've been sleeping on this God awful mattress for 6ish years now. It's not that the mattress is truly aweful it's that it's the hardest thing I have ever slept on.

Here's the back story:
My old mattress was worn out and slumping in the center pretty bad so about 6 years ago I decided to purchase a new mattress. I new I needed a firm mattress because I have lower back pain sometimes. So I laid on a few mattress's than this mattress was firm but soft...at least I thought it was.

When it was delivered I laid on it the first night and it was as hard as a rock. I knew than it was to hard for me. I called the store but they told me I needed to sleep on it for X amount of weeks. I argued with them for a while and then just gave up. I hated that bed and I hated that I rushed to purchase one.

I still hate that stupid but and it hasn't gotten any better. I wake up every morning with pressure points and I never get a full nights sleep because I'm tossing and turning and hurt. The only way I can explain the pain is if you sleep on a carpeted floor with no padding under it. Yes, painful.

So why do I still have the bed? Simple, couldn't afford a new one until recently. So, I've been shopping around for a month, maybe two...could be longer. To be honest I'm scared to purchase another one, just to get it home and have the same damn regret I did with the first one. The end result I sleep like crap and wake up with pressure points.

The other day, or week, I was talking to a friend. She has a daughter who is away at college and bought her this memory foam topper. Her daughter told her it made all the difference on the old college bed. I thought, OK if it made a difference for her daughter maybe it would work for me...and guess what!

I DID

I got the mattress on Friday, let it air out for a couple of hour, put it on my bed before I went to sleep, around midnight, and didn't wait up until 10:24am the next morning! I couldn't believe it! I've NEVER slept in that late(we are not counting when I was a child!) I was in shock....so the mattress top really did work.

I must have gotten enough sleep from the night before because this morning I work up at 6:00am. But I woke up and was awake. It didn't take me 30 or 40 minutes to wake up.

I can't wait to see if I feel that same way in a couple of weeks, I hope so. This will save me a ton of money because the one mattress I finally found is about $1500 which I will have to save up for. But since this $65 mattress top is working for now I can focus on other things.

Mattress toppers rock!!!